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If you don’t have a baby, go to a park and ask a random stranger if she can take your picture while you hold her baby. Do NOT mention any of the following words in your profile: Marriage Kids Prison Blood Mommy The IRS Porn 4. ‘Cause this is the shit I used to read all the time when I was doing it: I love walking on the beach and going on vacations and seeing movies. And then I F’ing meet you and you’re like let’s go see some weird ass indie flick that’s in Swahili (Holy crap, I spelled that word right on the first try?!!! I don’t give a crap whether you look like Christina Aguilera 2011 or Christina Aguilera 2013. When someone types the word “u” instead of “you,” do you know what I think?